BLoggie.. its beeen over a month since i last posted.. and am really sorry for not being able to blog so longgg.. I really missed blogging.. So many things have happened.. 1st semester of poly is over.. exams over.. I went to INDIA !! Spent time wif my family.. for what was definitely with out a shadow of a doubt the MOST HAPPIEST 2 weeks of 2009 (:
I had to come back within 2 weeks due to some commitments in sch which i HAD NO IDEA INITIALLY.. If i knew i honestly wld have never sacrifised my time wif my family for anything else..
Bloggie, ever since i got back to this little terrible painful island.. I've not had a peace of mind :( i mean i knw i came back for drama.. and the only reason am here is for my love for drama.. But it just really kills me inside i cld have been away from this island with my family instead of being here n I had a choice.. that jus kills me.. But on the other hand when i signed up for this drama i had no idea about it having to being during this holz.. So its really not my choice too. But still I feel so lonesome.. I cant seem to be myself..
I've become so antisocial.. I cant seem to mingle.. I cant seem to be myself.. Maybe because i just knw i wouldnt be accepted. I never felt like I belonged here in this island.. Much less among the people that I have to meet for the next 3 weeks EVERYDAY.. Maybe I am just weird.. I am just useless.. I never felt liked or wanted when there.. More like an extra person.. Which really isnt smth new for me. I've never fit in anywheree... Wld I fit in anywhere ? Thats a question this soul has been poundering on for yearss..
I hate life here Bloggie.. Among the rest.. There are a few reasons why i still survive in this disaster island.. AND I THANK GOD for those blessings.. I trully treasure those BLESSINGS ((:
bloggiee.. Isnt it normal for one to crave for love ? I dunno what to do.. The tears are at the brim.. This soul continues to hold it all back..
No more sense of direction in this life.. Everything seems to be changing.. and I MEAN EVERY THINGGG IS CHANGING BEFORE MY VERY EYESS.. I knw that nth stays the same forever..
But I just cant seem to change... Is it wrong to be the way I am ? All I want is... well.. All that his heart yearned for is things that was beyond possibilities of imagination.. All he had left also started to change its course of life.. And there he was left behind..
haizz... Hurt he is.. SO DARN HURT !! I dont have a cure to all this pain.. Or is there ?
I need to be saved.. But can I even be saved ? If so..
HOW ??
GOD PLEASE HELP ME..
I just want to be happy..
I want to go back..
I dont want to stay in this ISLAND..
GOD PLEASEEEEEEEEE HELP ME..
pleaseeee..
Signing off,
PKD
